If you have been following my blog, you know what a HUGE Brené Brown fan I am. Our world is growing in emotional maturity thanks to her brave work… because when we talk about our feelings without shame and learn how to work through them rather than stuff them, our emotional IQ is raised. It’s what I’ve spent the last years doing in my own life and it is my wish for anyone reading this post.

I share my heart and my stories out here because processing emotions, especially those stuffed and hidden away, has been one of the most liberating and life changing seasons of my life. Showing up as Love is the goal of the Christian life and I wake up each and every day with a desire to shepherd my dash to it’s fullest, with more and more Love to give. It is my hope and prayer that if you are reading this, you might be inspired to add more intention into your dash, too!

So let’s circle back to my “mini-meltdown” last week. (if you missed the blog post, click HERE). I bumped up against some emotions, processed them via an ugly cry, put words around them, released them and was on my merry way. In the past, an episode like that would have kept me in a funk for days or even weeks because I would run from the tension instead of heading straight into it. I’d ignore, ignore, ignore and eventually the tension would dissipate (i.e. I’d shuffle a few things around in my spirit and find a little more space to stuff them feels with all the others).

I can’t say this enough friends – we can’t process, move through and find JOY if we don’t put words around our feels. Unprocessed feelings remain somewhere in our spirits and I would guess based on my own experience, leaking out in all sorts of not helpful ways. My leaking looks like: blame, assumptions & judging, defensiveness, depending on others, instant gratification, i owe you/you owe me, and people pleasing… just to name few, ha!

Understanding that emotions are good, God given, and healthy is key to accepting them, embracing them and loving ourselves well (it’s also fertile soil for loving others well!). Brené has new research she is working on and it is alarming. The average person can name 3 basic emotions: love, hate and anger. If we are going to shepherd our dashes well, we’ve got to do better than that. Before we part ways today, I wanted to leave you with a list of some “feeling” words from Pete Scazerro’s book, Emotionally Healthy Spirituality, and to send you some Love as you go take on the day and shepherd your dash! xo

Afraid, Anxious, Desperate, Fearful, Helpless, Nervous, Pressured, Shocked, Terrified, Worried

Angry, Annoyed, Bitter, Defensive, Frustrated, Furious, Humiliated, Offended, Resentful

Hurt, Abandoned, Cheated, Crushed, Defeated, Deserted, Heartbroken, Lonely, Misunderstood, Upset

Sad, Ashamed, Depressed, Disappointed, Discouraged, Disillusioned, Hopeless, Miserable, Moody

Doubtful, Confused, Distrustful, Hesitant, Indecisive, Puzzled, Skeptical, Uncertain

Interested, Challenged, Concerned, Curious, Eager, Enthusiastic, Excited, Inspired, Amazed

Loving, Appreciative, Tender, Sympathetic, Compassionate, Honored

Happy, Amused, Cheerful, Comfortable, Contented, Grateful, Hopeful, Joyful, Lighthearted, Peaceful, Pleased, Relaxed

Physical, Aware, Awkward, Empty, Exhausted, Refreshed, Repulsed, Strong, Tense, Weak

Miscellaneous, Bold, Bored, Cooperative, Determined, Distant, Impatient, Indifferent, Jealous, Proud, Relived, Secure, Surprised

emotional IQ

2 thoughts on “emotional IQ

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    Can I just tell you how much this post lifted me up! I’m in the midst of working through things – like friendship and connection – and have been increasingly trying to talk to friends about feelings, only to get shut out. This was truly and deeply what I needed to hear, and I wanted you to know. Thank you!

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      Thank you so much for your kind words, they are just what I needed, too! We are chosen to role model feelings for all of the sweepers in our lives – whatever is stuffed isn’t being given to God. It’s messy to unpack them, but totally worth it and I am so excited for you, sister! Keep on digging in! xo

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